All You Need to Know About Self-Love

Photo credit: Healthshots

In reality, loving ourselves is really hard. And the fact that we have been growing up in some environment that taught us to even neglect ourselves, things become even worse to us.

However, even if it happens that we are through, still there are sometimes when things go wrong and find ourselves in that default mode again — the default mode of not loving ourselves.

As a writer, most of my writings come from my personal experiences and I was in the same situation where I noticed and found myself that I don’t love myself anymore.

What I did then is to be consciously committed and pull myself up to that level where I can find that love from within and have that feeling of feeling good.

How Would You Noticed That You Don’t Love Yourself (How I Noticed That I Don’t Love Myself?)

So many of us thought that we do really love ourselves but when it comes to our actions — how we act or respond to different events and emotional issues all of those acts and responses prove us a failure.

According to my own experiences and how I can define self-love, if you are doing the following, you aren’t loving yourself.

1. Feeling That You Aren’t Enough

You believe that you don’t deserve better, you aren’t worth anything and you put yourself down so many times which sometimes causes lots of insecurities inside you.

2. Feeling Jealous

If you are in a relationship with your partner or in your work environment and keep feeling that others are luckier, are doing better, and found yourself comparing yourself with others all the time, that isn’t self-love.

3. Judging and Criticizing Others

If you are judging or criticizing others for who they’re. just know that you are projecting what you have within you. But also the behavior of judging and criticizing others comes from the feeling of unworthy, insecurities within you and that isn’t self-love.

4. Carrying Negative Perceptions Toward Others

On what they are thinking about you or doing to you. If your perceptions always are negative about what others are thinking of you, you are showing clearly that you aren’t enough and others don’t love you for who you are — the results, you will live the lie so that you can be loved for who you aren’t, and that isn’t self-love. You have to accept yourself for who you are.

5. Not Accepting Yourself for Who You Are

If you aren’t accepting all the imperfections, mistakes, and faults from yourself, that isn’t self-love.

6. Living with The Guilty

What happened either you did it well or wrong, it surely represents the other part of you or it preparing the person you are today. So why feeling guilty for what you did? You did what you did because you knew what you knew. It passed and you can’t change anything, if you keep carrying out guilty wouldn’t be helpful and you are just showing that you aren’t loving yourself.

7. Not Easy to Forgive or Love Others for Who They Are

If you aren’t accepting others for who they are, you aren’t accepting yourself for who you are too and that isn’t self-love as you are representing what’s inside you. If you aren’t forgiving others for what they did to you, you aren’t giving yourself space for peace due to un-forgiveness or resentments that you are holding inside you, and that isn’t self-love.

What Should You Do To Improve Your Self-Love?

1. Know that you are enough! Btw, this is the foundation of self-love!
2. Forgive and let go so that you can grow
3. Treat yourself with care, respect, and as someone you’ve loved.
4. Do self-care activities like making yourself look good, dance, or exercise
5. Prepare self-love affirmations for self-love and make them your everyday mantra Eg. Louse Hay
6. Stop spending too much of your time on social media’s or looking at your WhatsApp status (this will reduce comparison between you and others, if you find it too difficult plan a schedule for social media check — it shouldn’t be all the time)
7. Accept the other side of you with all the imperfections, mistakes, and faults.
8. Accept, acknowledgment, and admits what you feel without resisting (especially when you are in a relationship) accept that you are jealous (when you feel like you are), or express your feelings either to your partner, to someone you trusted, or in your journal.
9. Stop comparing yourself with others, they are good in your way and for God’s sake, you are good in your way
10. Do what it takes & don’t be afraid: to be honest, I block people who make my mood down, delete their numbers on my phone list until I can collect myself later on. Don’t be afraid to do what you feel like you want to do to bring your life energy level up, especially if it’s something that resonates with you and it doesn’t physically violate the other person but do what feels right for you.

In the end, what I have shared comes from my own personal life experience (what I went through) and I understand that we are different and we also have different approaches when solving what’s disturbing us from within. My advice should be — just go with that which works for you and that which doesn’t work for you, you have every right to let it go. Just Do Your Way!

“The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself. It is in this relationship that you set the standard for all others.”

― Steve Maraboli



Don’t forget to pass through my YouTube channel to Watch, Listen, and Learn something positive and mindful all the time.

P.S: If you will be interested, and yet–you aren’t on the list, please join our WhatsApp group HERE or visit our Instagram page @gildagivenquotes for Inflammable Mindset check with us +255 758 278 017




I am a Yoga Instructor yet, a content creator who loves to write, design, or narrate content to be shared on all social platforms.

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Gilda Given

Gilda Given

I am a Yoga Instructor yet, a content creator who loves to write, design, or narrate content to be shared on all social platforms.

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